Stories from MLIA

• Today, i walked up to my friend and told her that kids are going around school saying that she showers naked. She got really offended and wanted to know who made up this horrible rumor. I don't think I'll tell her... MLIA
• Today in Human Geograpy we were talking about the importance of knowing multiple languages. A know-it-all in the back of the class raised his hand and said, "I can say goodbye in 5 different languages!" Without missing a beat, my teacher responded with, "Congratulations, you've seen The Sound of Music" and continued with his lesson. MLIA.
• Yesterday, at my friend's 18th birthday party at Chuck E Cheese, I realized that it's a casino for little kids. MLIA.
• Today I joined in the Yahoo and Google battle by typing in "Why can't I..." into each search engine. Yahoo came up with "Why can't I song lyrics..." while Google came up with "Why can't I adopt a Canadian", thanks google, I've been wondering that too. MLIA.
• Today, I asked my friend what was wrong with her to which she replied, "My body is kicking my butt because I'm not pregnant." I will never call it a period again. MLIA.
• Yesterday, after reading the MLIA about Antidaephobia, I decided to try it on my friend. I went up to her and asked, "Do you suffer from antidaephobia?" "What?" "The fear that somewhere a duck is watching you." She told me it was ridiculous and no one can be afraid of ducks. Today, I went up to her with a rubber duck and whispered "quack" into her ear. She screamed and ran into a wall. I win. MLIA

Riddles

8. What English word retains the same pronunciation, even after you take away four of its five letters?

9. If I say "Everything I tell you is a lie," am I telling you the truth or a lie?

10. What work can a painter never quite finish?

11. Why wasn't Bertha put in jail after killing dozens of people?

12. Why wasn't John able to take a photo of his mother with curlers?

13. If there are three cups of sugar and you take one away, how many do you have?

14. What has a mouth but can't chew?

15. How many letters are in the alphabet?

16. What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries?

17. What can travel around the world while staying in a corner?

18. Food can help me survive, but water will kill me. What am I?

19. Take away the whole and some still remains. What is it?

20. What stinks when living and smells good when dead?

21. When is it bad luck to meet a white cat?

22. If it has a quart capacity, how many pennies can you put into a empty piggy bank?

The Answers

8. Queue.

9. A lie. It can't be the truth without contradicting itself (and therefore being a lie), but some of my statements can be lies, and this is one of those statements.

10. Her autobiography.

11. She was a hurricane.

12. You can't use curlers to take photos! You need a camera.

13. You have just one - the one you took away.

14. A river.

15. There are eleven letters in "the alphabet."

16. A towel.

17. A stamp.

18. Fire.

19. The word "wholesome."

20. Bacon.

21. When you're a mouse.

22. Just one - after that it won't be empty.

How Many?

Sally has 3 apples. She eats 5 apples. How many apples does she have left?




Answer: None, Sally is a pathological liar and didn't eat any apples, in fact she probably didn't have any apples to begin with.

A Tragic Snow Day

Well you all know that we had a snow day this past Tuesday. Well for some people that live next door to me this will be a day they will never forget. My neighbors house caught on fire around 3 o clock. This happened when they were outside chopping firewood for their fireplace. When they next turned around there was fire in there house. When they noticed this they immediately called 911 and got what they could out of the house that was precious to them because although the entire house wasn't engulfed in flames it might have been soon. When the fire department got there they got the fire under control, but there was so much smoke that there house is probably gone because of all of the smoke. Luckily everyone was fine and so were there pets but I still don't know if the house will still be livable so right now there lives are up to the fates.

Randomness

I read this on a website, let me know what you think of it.

This past weekend I was babysitting my niece and she is very adventurous. She got into the cabinet under the sink that holds all of my cleaning chemicals. She got a hold of a bottle of dihydrogen monoxide and drank the entire bottle. I took her to the doctor straight away and he told me that she would be ok as long as she drank dihydrogen monoxide every day for the rest of her life.

Warriors the Series

Have you ever wondered what you house cat thinks about? What its hope and dreams are and what it does when your away? To answer those questions you should read the Warriors The Original Series. This series follows the life of Rusty a house cat that dreams of going into the forest. It is a good series to read if you just want to have some fun.

Disney

Right now I am having a major urge to have a Disney movie marathon right now but I can't have one. I mean, how fun would it be to have an all day marathon where all you watched were Disney movies. I don't know why this urge has suddenly come over me but I feel that this is a good idea. Anyone who reads this if it is at all possible we should have a Disney movie marathon at your house, and while there we should have pizza, cake, and ice cream. So if at all possible we should try and arrange this.

Killer Mold

In my last post I mentioned a dream about killer mold. So people can understand what I'm talking about, here is my dream.

I find myself in my kitchen holding an aerosol can freaking out about something. I hear my sister telling me to be strong and not to touch anything in the kitchen because there is mold everywhere. When I look around to see what see's talking about I see this green radioactive looking mold everywhere. I start freaking out, wondering what the hells going on when my sister starts to spray the mold with a can that looks just like mine. After I see that the spray is killing the mold I start to spray it with my can. After we kill all of the mold I feel a lot safer. Then for some reason I find myself and my sister and mom with me in my parent's walk-in closet covering our heads. It turns out that the government is going to do an air strike on Owensboro with nuclear bombs to try and stop the spread of the killer mold. My mom then takes me and my sister to our front do so that when the bombs hit we can die quickly with out feeling any pain. i start to freak out and then I see this bright flash of light, then I woke up.

Don't Worry

So you may have noticed all of my really random poems about destruction and death and might be getting a little bit worried that I'm going off the deep end. Don't worry though because I am all right. For some reason the things that pop into my head right now are really strange. I mean considering I had a dream about killer mold a little while ago. I guess my mind is just in a really weird stage right now. But don't worry because I don't hear voices in my head. Yet

Random Poem # 2

There once was a man named Fred

Who never moved from his bed

His family kept trying

but he kept crying,

so now he's dead in his bed